Neither Friend Nor Foe

Where is he?

neither friend nor foe?

where is he?

the wind is curious

wind sit with me for a moment

for I lack the courage

to speak what is within my soul

wind, my friend

open your eyes

look in my heart

for I am at a loss for words

you will see the story

as the pieces fall together

many puzzles complete

real pictures will paint

as the story unfolds

I hear the whistle of the wind

as I bare my soul

as it feels my emotions 

without speaking words

when I come to a pause

once again encourages me

as my sorrow overcomes me

my walls begin to fade

that have surrounded my soul

I finally find the courage

and dare to ask my friend

Where is he?

The one who is neither friend nor foe?

as I lose my strength

I feel the wind surround me

as it whispers

for each and every one of us

there is a soulmate to call our own

your soulmate no matter his name

or where he is, he is

as you are

neither friend nor foe,  

does not matter the pieces,

puzzles, nor pictures

this is how every story goes

for it has been foretold

do not trouble yourself

and complicate it so

nor find fear or despair

in your loss of words

there is much wisdom

in the silence

when it finally takes hold

once again the wind

has the last word

and finally brings

much needed rest

to once again

continue to

heal my heart

and now finally my soul

 

I wrote this last night and published it under carissimi on Triond.  

It was one of those nights.  I have read and reread again.  Have you ever written when you felt like you were in a trance?  

What has captured me today is a few lines that have hit me to the core.

your soulmate 

no matter his name

or where he is

 he is 

as you are

He is, as I am.   He is as I am.  

How I am, he is.  Well that sucks, because I'm a mess. 

Am I being too literal in the interpretation? 

Why is it that others write and know what they write?

Why I write and then have to find out what I write?

I sit and wonder as I watch a movie with someone yelling "you need to forget".  

I have been able to put pieces together.  I blamed it on a car accident from 2002.  But I realize now and have to face the truth.  I've blocked out many things in my life.  They are taking less and less of my energy and putting the pieces together no longer hurt.  I am grateful.  I'm still a mess.  I will try to go to the doctor's this week.  It breaks my heart to say I was doing better on my meds.  I was able to organize things, focus better, get more accomplished.  Yes the medicines make me feel like I am just going through the paces at times but at least I was taking more paces or steps.  I have come to a halt again. It was quite abrupt again.